Our India move is now over three years old. And it has been one heckuva ride. And Bangalore is an awesome place to live. The weather is great. And …and..umm.. yes… .the weather is really awesome.
To become a true-blue bangalorean (and I must confess, I am nowhere close), I had to unlearn and relearn a few things. But the experience is real fun. So I thought – why not pass on these experiences to future migrants? So here are some tips for would-be Bangaloreans. Since the learning is huge, I thought I should attack this topic in parts. Today’s topic is DRIVING.
Driving in Bangalore is worry-free, and a real pleasure. Know why? Here are some reasons.
1. Drive wherever you want. You can drive up on the left side of the road just like the British did when they ran India. Or on the right side of the road, like the Americans do.. or like the water tankers now do. Or drive right in the middle if you are unsure. If you find traffic thick on your side of the road, just hop over to the other side - on-coming traffic will give way. If there is a median stopping you, walk out, take help from obliging two-wheeler drivers, and pull out the loosely fitted median stones.. and voila! You, and hundred others have a new lane to zip by as others are left to deal with a growing snarl ahead.
2. Honk to your utmost pleasure. Now this is uniquely Indian. You can honk in joy when the traffic light turns green, or in utter frustration when it turns red. You can honk when your odometer says 70, or honk when a two-wheeler rider get so close as to hit you with his body odor. You can honk when you see a speed hump or when you don’t see one for a whole 100 yards. You get the idea, I suppose.
3. Pick a tune for your horn. Now you have a whole swathe to choose from. Boring people like me have the standard factory fitted ones. But almost everyone else personalizes his or her tune(s). Those with babies usually opt for the “Mary had a little lamb” tune. Senior citizens have Beethoven and Bach symphonies to choose from. BPO cabs’ shriek out 2 stanzas of “Shiela ki Jawani” at the touch of a button..and they touch it as long as the wheels are in motion. For the devout south indian, one press of the button belts out M S Subhalakshmi’s “Suprabhatam” in its entirety. Devout north indians however clearly prefer the “Om Jai Jagadeesha Hare” horn. And you have a different set of tunes while reversing. My personal favorite is the Baiju Bawra hit "Hey duniya ke rakhwale..". Quite apt. All in all, awesome idea, great choices. I wish America learned from these innovations. Being in traffic is almost like sitting on stage while New York Philharmonic, A R Rehman, and Baba Ramdev (yuck) are practicing side-by-side.
4. Stop or park where you please. Want to make a quick call to your golf club to confirm your tee-off time? Or is your bladder bursting? No worries - just stop right where you were when that thought struck you, or the pressure hit you, and get on with your business. Busy junction? No problems. Other drivers understand….they obligingly go around you. Cops? Wave them off – they will come back to collect a penalty once you are done with the call or the job. Your call is important to all of us!
5. Nicking, chipping, denting, ramming all pardoned. Lets say you believed you could squeeze between the rumbling concrete mixer to your right and a stationary car on the left on a one-lane road. And lets say, your belief went horribly wrong. So your bonnet ended up inside the parked car’s trunk. No worries. Just get out, hold back the million cars behind you for a few short minutes, charge up to the driver of the parked car, and yell out something like “Nanna problem illa saar…nimma mishtake adhu…blah blah blah..”and close it with the customary, powerful, all encompassing, “..swalpa adjust maadi saar”. He will usually oblige. He will shrug, circle his car twice clockwise, once counter-clockwise, to inspect tell-tale signs of other such encounters in the past, rue the new shape of his trunk, call a few dozen readily available volunteers to lift your car out of his trunk, and send you on your way. Now that you know this, you know how to react If you ever became a victim.
6. Teach your four-year old. Its only America that would not let a 14-year old drive. Here, you can have your four-year old firmly seated between your legs while he manipulates the wheel. If your six-year old is as enthusiastic, you can have him squat between your legs and manipulate the accelerator with his hands. Awesome. I love this early-bird advantage! My kid would have had an eleven year head-start when he lands up in America for his college. Talk about Indian-competitiveness!
All in all, I found driving really easy, fun and relaxing. Other road users are nice, caring, flexible, and musically oriented .. so much like me. When I look back, I realize driving was such a drab and dreary chore in America.
To become a true-blue bangalorean (and I must confess, I am nowhere close), I had to unlearn and relearn a few things. But the experience is real fun. So I thought – why not pass on these experiences to future migrants? So here are some tips for would-be Bangaloreans. Since the learning is huge, I thought I should attack this topic in parts. Today’s topic is DRIVING.
Driving in Bangalore is worry-free, and a real pleasure. Know why? Here are some reasons.
1. Drive wherever you want. You can drive up on the left side of the road just like the British did when they ran India. Or on the right side of the road, like the Americans do.. or like the water tankers now do. Or drive right in the middle if you are unsure. If you find traffic thick on your side of the road, just hop over to the other side - on-coming traffic will give way. If there is a median stopping you, walk out, take help from obliging two-wheeler drivers, and pull out the loosely fitted median stones.. and voila! You, and hundred others have a new lane to zip by as others are left to deal with a growing snarl ahead.
2. Honk to your utmost pleasure. Now this is uniquely Indian. You can honk in joy when the traffic light turns green, or in utter frustration when it turns red. You can honk when your odometer says 70, or honk when a two-wheeler rider get so close as to hit you with his body odor. You can honk when you see a speed hump or when you don’t see one for a whole 100 yards. You get the idea, I suppose.
3. Pick a tune for your horn. Now you have a whole swathe to choose from. Boring people like me have the standard factory fitted ones. But almost everyone else personalizes his or her tune(s). Those with babies usually opt for the “Mary had a little lamb” tune. Senior citizens have Beethoven and Bach symphonies to choose from. BPO cabs’ shriek out 2 stanzas of “Shiela ki Jawani” at the touch of a button..and they touch it as long as the wheels are in motion. For the devout south indian, one press of the button belts out M S Subhalakshmi’s “Suprabhatam” in its entirety. Devout north indians however clearly prefer the “Om Jai Jagadeesha Hare” horn. And you have a different set of tunes while reversing. My personal favorite is the Baiju Bawra hit "Hey duniya ke rakhwale..". Quite apt. All in all, awesome idea, great choices. I wish America learned from these innovations. Being in traffic is almost like sitting on stage while New York Philharmonic, A R Rehman, and Baba Ramdev (yuck) are practicing side-by-side.
4. Stop or park where you please. Want to make a quick call to your golf club to confirm your tee-off time? Or is your bladder bursting? No worries - just stop right where you were when that thought struck you, or the pressure hit you, and get on with your business. Busy junction? No problems. Other drivers understand….they obligingly go around you. Cops? Wave them off – they will come back to collect a penalty once you are done with the call or the job. Your call is important to all of us!
5. Nicking, chipping, denting, ramming all pardoned. Lets say you believed you could squeeze between the rumbling concrete mixer to your right and a stationary car on the left on a one-lane road. And lets say, your belief went horribly wrong. So your bonnet ended up inside the parked car’s trunk. No worries. Just get out, hold back the million cars behind you for a few short minutes, charge up to the driver of the parked car, and yell out something like “Nanna problem illa saar…nimma mishtake adhu…blah blah blah..”and close it with the customary, powerful, all encompassing, “..swalpa adjust maadi saar”. He will usually oblige. He will shrug, circle his car twice clockwise, once counter-clockwise, to inspect tell-tale signs of other such encounters in the past, rue the new shape of his trunk, call a few dozen readily available volunteers to lift your car out of his trunk, and send you on your way. Now that you know this, you know how to react If you ever became a victim.
6. Teach your four-year old. Its only America that would not let a 14-year old drive. Here, you can have your four-year old firmly seated between your legs while he manipulates the wheel. If your six-year old is as enthusiastic, you can have him squat between your legs and manipulate the accelerator with his hands. Awesome. I love this early-bird advantage! My kid would have had an eleven year head-start when he lands up in America for his college. Talk about Indian-competitiveness!
All in all, I found driving really easy, fun and relaxing. Other road users are nice, caring, flexible, and musically oriented .. so much like me. When I look back, I realize driving was such a drab and dreary chore in America.
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