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THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON-IN-LAW

The perks of visiting my mother-in-law's place in Chennai has always been the food of course, which is simply fantastic, and the complete freedom to do and be what I want to do or be…there is never an expectation from anyone to adhere to any 'home' norms. Its an all-women household, with a 92-year pretty much vegetative grand mom being the oldest resident. But having lived in the same house in gopalapuram for almost forty-five years, my mother-in-law (Jaya mami or paatu-maami as she is known to all) does not want to move, in spite of umpteen problems with her present home. And I can understand why. Her thirty year music school has kept her very busy and happy. If that were not enough, she is quite famous in the neighbourhood. Once an auto rickshaw guy gave her the ultimate compliment - amma, naan silappa romba tired-a irunthen-na unga veettu keeley ninthindu paatu kaypen-amma. Tension-ellam poidum amma. The keerai kaari and the veggie vendor knows her, the shopkeepers know her, Karunanidhi's doctor knows her, …yes, the perk for being known as the maapillai of the paatu teacher is to be experienced to be believed. And if that is not all, I get the benefit of a private kutcheri whenever I want. No music season for me. My season runs 12 months a year!


The highlight of the year for paatu maami is her Annual Day on Saraswati Puja day. She uses that day to thank her students for being interested in music, and honour them for being part of her school. She is generous to a fault - she takes a pittance as fees, and gives back on this day, a significant portion of the fee as gifts for the children. She gives them loads and loads of gifts, just for the joy of watching their eyes light up, and to see that wide smile on their faces. Kids look forward to this day as well. Interestingly, nearly one out of five are past students. It is a wonderful sight to see 60-80 kids and their parents show up in droves for those four hours. I noticed very early on that this was not the regular teacher-student relationship. She somehow connects with each student at a different plane, and they enjoy learning from her. I have seen tots sitting on her lap and learning, and some doing headstands and sing!

The planning and preparation for the Annual Day of course begins weeks before. She and her daughters fan out to markets in Chennai and Bangalore looking for unique gifts for her students. Tots as young as four, men and women in their forties, and a whole age range in between, are her students. She has an elephantine memory - she of course knows every student by name and their contact numbers; she also knows the likes and dislikes of every student. Yes, lets give Revathi this pencil box, that necklace fan, and this water bottle. Yes, I think Namrata will like this magic drawing board, and this pen with a funny light. And so on…

I have been an absentee member of this big event. My wife and I have been married over two decades, but for some reason I never made it to this function in Chennai…never ever. I somehow did not see it as important or big. But this time, when Shanthi suggested that we go, I readily agreed. I was curious. My curiosity was of course piqued by the shopping extravaganza that I witnessed for nearly three weeks. 

No sooner than I landed in Chennai two days back, I was put to work. "Let's get to Mylapore and buy a dozen garlands, 30 coconuts, 20 mozham malli poo, a dozen lemons, four Titan watches, …. ..". After literally ploughing through a sea of humanity near the Kapaleeswarar Temple tank, I parked the car, and we went about our duty. A couple of hours later, we were back home, rearranging furniture, cleaning up, decorating the puja area, etc. When I hit the sack well past midnight, my limbs ached from all the hard work I did that I was unused to. Next morning, we were once again sent on a shopping errand - more fresh flowers, fresh chandanam, a couple of saris, …. One more trip later, we were done. Somewhere in between, my sil had made over 100 gift hampers, each hamper neatly labeled with the student's name and age, and stuffed with goodies that would cheer that kid up. And then there were the usual vetthalai-paaku bags for parents. Mother-in-law had made a huge quantity of sundal at home for all, and had also specially ordered packets of mixture, jhangiri, and badusha for every one. 

When evening descended, the women of the house were in their kancheepuram best, welcoming a huge surge of people. Pretty soon, the vaathiyaar from the Krishnan kovil nearby got busy with the puja. When he finished thirty minutes later, he kicked off the musical evening with a saraswati song - he too was a student of paatu-maami of course! When he left, the collective voice of the kids was unleashed .. I am sure M Karunanidhi, living about four streets away, heard the full-throated rendition of "Saraswati, Sharada maayi…." and many more songs by over forty kids. Couple of hours later, my mil was at hand, thanking each student for his/her interest in music, and handing over the gift hamper, and giving a loving hug. As the last of the student traipsed out with a smile on his or her lips well past ten at night, the gang at home just flopped down on chairs, tired but satisfied. After a short rest, we all got back to cleaning up the house, and making it habitable once again. Finally when I slept at 1 am, I realised that I was witness to a unique event - an event where a teacher honours her students, and acknowledges the joy she gets out of sharing her knowledge with tots and adults alike. It was special.

I am now back in Bangalore, in the comfort of my own home. The last forty eight hours were indeed special. Music does make a million friends, and lights up a thousand hearts. Especially, when spread by an old woman with a very very large heart, and a great love for music.


Disclaimer: Journalistic accuracy is not my forte. So dates, numbers, etc. are slightly better than a decent guess :-)

Comments

Rama said…
Hello Naresh
My namaskarams to your Mother in law ...pattu maami..what a unique way of celebrating ..I know about Vijaya Dashami .beng the day when students honour their teachers...this was fabulous...I can well imagine the happiness that students give teachers...I experience it almost every other day...

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